laughs: “I have a girl friend who I have known for a long time. Although he has been in the life circle, he has had a boyfriend for a long time, more than 4 years, and then he has broken up for more than half a year. I was with him and his ex-boyfriend. I had a crush on him before, but at that time, because his ex-boyfriend was relatively close to him, he didn’t act. I just had a chance to chat more recently (I didn’t have the chance to be alone or chat for a long time before), please ask from friend zone What should I pay attention to when switching to attracting? Thank you~I don’t know what to do with this relationship~”
I often hear this example in life: “Friends are too long to be lovers.”
However, there is another group of people who say: “The moon is the first to get near the water tower.”
Who is right and who is wrong, who is right and who is wrong? If you have become friends, and have even been regarded as good sisters by girls, how should you go about this situation?
Before we get to the point, let’s talk about shopping experience first. Love needs impulse, and so does shopping. If you can understand the commonalities between love and shopping, it will be much easier to advance the relationship.
Love and Shopping
And you have definitely encountered another situation, the same thing is a thing you like very much, just happened to see it while shopping, the lady told you that there are only the last three left, and now you are doing activities again, After you miss it, it’s gone. You pick it up and play with it. Although the price is a bit more expensive, the temptation of a credit card makes you swipe it.
This is a typical customer shopping process. When the amount of the product is higher and the service life is longer, the more likely we will consider it more. For example, if there is someone on the side of the road selling chewing gum to you, would you think long for a box of ten dollars?
The average person makes a decision in three seconds, because ten dollars doesn’t mean much to you, and neither does consumable gum.
Many people here will mistakenly think that the more decision-making processes and the more complicated the projects that need to be considered, the more rational people will think?
As far as buying a car, we need to consider the car’s performance, sheet metal, maintenance, brand, c.c. number, seat size, and even social identity (what others think of you driving this car).
And what about love?
We consider appearance (some people call it pleasing to the eye), height, family background, common interests, common friends, money outlook, life circle, distance, ideas about the future, and so on.
On the surface, the longer the decision, the more rational people seem to be?
However, judging from Mr.P’s experience in selling high-priced products and consulting cases for students, the reality is completely the opposite. The more complex the decision-making process, the more we need “emotion” to ignite the fire of motivation. .
Without this fire, car owners will have difficulty distinguishing the difference between BMW and Mercedes-Benz. Without this fire, the spark of love cannot be stirred up, and we have no way of knowing how fascinating Mr.Right is in front of us. .
Passion
- “Intimacy”—includes a sense of closeness, connection, and restraint.
- “Passion”—includes the drive to fall in love, to attract each other, and to have sex.
- “Commitment” – includes the maintenance of short-term love and long-term love.
If a person can become friends with the opposite sex, the level of intimacy has been passed, and there is only passion left, and commitment is the result of a consensus on the future when the two meet (no one will People say to keep her for a lifetime).
What we are going to talk about today is passion. Passion is the fire that catalyzes friendship to love. Such fire can be divided into two levels, one is ignition, and the other is fanning.
Lighting
Many crazy men and women often ask me, what is the difference between a friend and a lover? Why have you liked someone for so long, silently accompany him and her, and finally been ignored? The good person card is almost full of twelve constellations, but still don’t know how to communicate with the opposite sex?
In order to understand this problem, I spent a lot of time in cafes, on the side of the road, in restaurants watching people come and go, watching thousands of couples, or men and women who are about to become couples Well, finally I came to a conclusion.
To ignite the fire of love, only one condition is needed – the atmosphere, and as long as the person who can control the atmosphere can advance the relationship.
I have also met some people who suggested that people who are struggling in love should talk about “sex”, thinking that just talking about these things will trigger the desire of the opposite sex. In fact, this is completely wrong. The people who will succeed either have very good conditions, otherwise they will be rejected. When sexual harassment is self-inflicted.
Your doubts must be deeper, right (laughs), since ignition requires atmosphere, how to create atmosphere?
is very simple, it is “painting title” + “gradual shaping”.
“Painting” question
What about you? Are you intentionally creating your dating vibe?
For example:
◆ Are you just pretending to be nonchalant and talking about which Youtuber did something stupid yesterday, or did you start asking her what she thinks about the future through the Youtuber’s travel videos? What kind of friends do you want to make?
◆ After watching the stalled train together, you can only exaggerately describe to her how terrifying zombies are, or can you ask her what she would do if she was on the same train with her most beloved person?
Ordinary topics will only lead to ordinary relationships. Topics that friends can talk about will only make the relationship stagnant in the “friend zone”. Even if the person who controls the direction of the topic cannot win immediately, But it has long been invincible.
The same is true for sales, if you don’t ask what the customer likes? hate what? She will never tell you her preferences, you won’t ask the customer when the payment will be confirmed, and the reason why she doesn’t want to buy will not emerge. These are all misunderstandings that can be avoided by filtering topics.
The so-called topic victory refers to the result of stacking emotions with carefully laid out topics.
◆ Instead of asking her what she likes to eat, ask her what her most memorable restaurant is and what memories it contains. A good topic is like painting, and by writing the “painting” questions one by one, you will be able to involve both of you in the “painting”.
Then you must want to ask me again, can you change from friends to lovers by doing this?
Please don’t worry, the title of the painting is the prelude to igniting a flame. This is the process that two people must go through from getting along well to “having a good impression of each other”, but if the heat has been maintained at a spark, it will make you go to friends over time. The area is getting deeper and deeper, so if you want to ignite the flame of love, it needs to be supplemented by a fan that is gradually shaped. With the wind to fuel the fire, only the thunder can stir the fire and promote an uncontrollable love.
Don’t express it all at once, because love is a pas de deux, it needs to be brewed in atmosphere, tacit understanding and rhythm need to be cultivated, if you take a step forward, she will take a step forward, and feelings will come and go and interact. From the beginning, you poured all the “love” to the other party without reservation, and the other party would be confused: “We have only just met each other, and you don’t know me well enough, how can you like me like this, then you probably just like my outsider. in, not the real me.”
If you already have a crush on each other, when the other person asks you, “Do you like me?”
You can:
- Give her a big smile and nod
- Tell him, “I admire you, but it’s not there yet
- Laughing and asking him, “What do you think?”
But you definitely don’t need to write a confession letter of two or three thousand words, it will scare the other party away.
And in the same way, there is another saying in the business circle that echoes this: “Don’t let customers think too long.”
Therefore, those who are good at attracting and those who are good at selling find that the other party has a good impression of themselves (the product), and they will start to use many methods to fuel the fire and fan the fire.
For shopping, something like:
◆ The company’s activities are only until this weekend (limited time), this is a special offer that I helped my eldest brother to win, only you have it, don’t tell others (exclusive service), then this is regarded as a gift from me, provided that you Only when it reaches 1.2 million (with retreat as advance).
Emotionally:
◆ I’m going on a business trip for a week next week (reduced time), this weekend my friend is going to introduce a girl to me (limited), I’ve just been busy recently, and I’m only free on Friday night. Would you like to watch a movie together? (Limited location & time).
Most love (sales) is not a long-term battle of attrition, but a blitzkrieg that can be won in a month. People who can express more emotions in a shorter period of time tend to have the last laugh.
There are three keys to good gradation shaping, and I will only mention one here, which is called the sensory system.
Guess what, a song or a movie, usually people are more moved by which? It is a movie, because compared to just listening to the feast, the feeling of seeing and hearing together makes our memories more touched.
What if a song was compared to a piece of text? Obviously the song is slightly better. (The 713th reminder, don’t hide behind Line anymore, even if you use short recordings to chat, it is a hundred times better than text stickers to communicate. )
Why do romantic dinners always have candlelight and always be accompanied by a glass of red wine, because the beauty of flickering lights, the aroma of red wine, and the relaxation and comfort of light music will make two people reveal more to each other without knowing it.
