Girl: I am a single woman with a mother and child. She looks good, but because she doesn’t know how to get along with men, she has few male friends, and she won’t let loose and ambiguous. I saw Mr.P’s previous reply that a boy needs to know how to show his intentions, and I want to ask how a girl should show her intention to a boy, so that the other party will not feel that I am lacking, because too many boys will be scared away by active girls. Then there is, how do girls with more neutral temperament show their sexy side? Let boys take the initiative to pursue themselves? Finally, thank you for clearing up everyone’s doubts.
Mr.P: In the past, I rarely answered the question about “how do girls get boys to take the initiative”, but from the perspective of social communication, the truth is the same as boys chasing girls, the difference is that girls express their affection in a more subtle way , Be more reserved, so that you can keep the girl’s restraint, and at the same time, it will not make the other party feel that they are impatient and want to have a boyfriend, and let’s chat together.
In order to make this theme more complete and closer to reality, I specially interviewed Candice, my friend Vincent’s partner, what to do to attract quality boys. The answer she gave is very deep. You can’t just look at it with your eyes, but you need to experience it with your heart. This is also the method she took when she met Vincent. It would not take the initiative to make the girl look very cheap, but also gave the man enough. the initiative (sometimes Vincent suspects that he is the one being chased).
I would also like to introduce Vincent’s background here. Vincent is my sales partner. Because he left the society very early, Vincent has seen a lot of people, is worldly, and is very sensitive. His usual life is very simple. , that is, sports, reading and writing, and occasionally sings with three or five friends, has certain requirements for life and herself, and likes self-motivated and independent girls.
1. I would like to ask how girls can show their intentions to boys so that they will not feel that I am lacking?
Candice: Girls show the same intentions as boys. What they want is nothing more than naturalness. They usually make the other party feel that you are lacking. There may be several reasons:
.Overly blunt invitations
.to take the initiative too many times
. The content of the topic clearly shows your sense of need
You must balance the conversation first. Don’t let yourself be the leader of the topic, but let him lead the way. According to his preferences, talk about topics he is interested in. If you are dating, you can be silent and watch him. The reaction of you, at this time your silence becomes interesting, and he can know a thing or two about his intentions, and this time is the most important, if you are not careful, you will scare the other party away.
The difference between girls and boys in showing intentions is that you need to give him the ball, unintentionally letting him know which movie you are also interested in. Of course, showing intentions varies from person to person, assuming he is a favorite A boy who enjoys movies, and you happen to be too. At this time, let’s talk about romantic movies, bring it to the concept of love, find out the similarities, magnify the similarities, then he thinks that you are his ideal person, and you are his Ms.right.
In the natural dialogue, let him feel that he is special, rather than a rigid invitation or confession. ”
Mr.P: Many people think that when a girl is silent, responds less, and cannot read it, it is a sign of lack of interest. In fact, it is not. It is a chance for girls to express themselves. At the same time, I also want to tell everyone Girlfriends, if you want to know the psychological quality of a man, such as whether he has a good temper, whether he will be very anxious because of a little thing, using silence is a very good method.
Why do you say that?
Because if a man starts to make up a small theater in his head at this time (you can see it from his reaction), he even replies a long paragraph directly on Line to ask you: “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong? Why? Why are you ignoring me?”
You can tell from this that this man’s emotions are too delicate and sensitive. If you really enter into a relationship in the future, this may be a sign of a crack in your relationship.
Therefore, girls can use moderate silence to observe whether boys can maintain a high EQ to reply to you, whether he is empathetic, and your accuracy in screening objects will be much improved.
Second, how do girls with neutral temperament show their sexy side?
Candice: You show sexiness for him? Or do you want to look sexy yourself?
For everyone, the definition of sexy is different, as far as I am concerned, I like to be elegant and a little cool and mature. I think I am sexy like this, and I also think such women are very sexy, but there are also People have told me that they think I look sexy in a white plain T and skinny jeans. As for how sexy your crush feels, it depends on whether you know him well enough.
Back to the topic, everyone has a different definition of sexy, just like we generally think that Ella’s temperament is neutral, but maybe she is very sexy in her husband’s eyes?
I mean, it’s all about the definition of “sexy”, please don’t fall into the myth of sexy = underdressed = topless, trust me, not every guy feels that way, either Don’t think high heels, S curve, nail polish = sexy, you will find that many boys don’t like such girls.
Sexy is a presentation of beauty, a temperament that comes out naturally. It is definitely not a naked appearance in the eyes of the world. You must like your own appearance before you can make your gestures full of magic. If you have a neutral temperament, you do not If you like it, you need to adjust it from the outside. On the contrary, if you like it very much and agree with this kind of sexy, then make good use of it, it will attract you to that Mr.Right.
Mr.P:
A female student once asked me, “Should we change our image for the sake of others’ preferences and become what he likes? Teacher, I know you will say no, but what I want to ask is, if I change Will he be with me for sure? Isn’t that enough?”
I asked, “So do you know what type of girl he likes?”
She replied: “The girl he likes… should be the sexy one like Li Yufen, but my own temperament is too different from hers, I’m more like Gui Lunmei, so I’m conflicted , If I continue to be myself, I can only foolishly hope that he will like me, but if I try to dress up a little more sexy, maybe he will notice that I have changed? Start to look at me differently?”
Just after the girl finished speaking, another male classmate also said:
“P’s big, I also want to ask, do boys have to look bad in order to attract girls? For example, like Ke Zhendong and Edison Chen, and I see the kind of boys who often go to nightclubs and bars, they are all Dressed up fashionably, looking ruffian and ruffian, and having a good relationship with the opposite sex, should I do the same?”
I said, “Frankly, I’d love to tell you, just change it, be sexy if you want to be sexy, and dress yourself up if you want to be bad, because when you do it and you do it successfully, You must be able to quickly attract the object you want, this is a shortcut.
However, there is no point in doing this because your appearance has changed, but in fact your personality traits and temperament are still the same, and furthermore, by becoming sexy in a certain image for someone, you may temporarily get him, but What you lose is the whole world, but by being sexy for yourself, you will attract people who really like you, both men and women.
That’s why you didn’t do that today, and you’re here to listen to my class, because you want to develop your own unique charm, don’t you?
Li Yufen is great, Gui Lunmei is also very good, Sunshine Boys are very warm, and bad-looking boys also have their own unique charm. If you “want to change yourself”, and after you become that way, you can still speak from your heart. If you like yourself, then there is nothing right or wrong with such a change. A person can have many different styles of dressing, right?
Just like Jin Chengwu played the immortal Zhuge Liang in Chibi, but he also interpreted the ferryman full of rivers and lakes. Your personality and values are actually your original self, you just changed a style and dress.
However, if you simply change yourself and make yourself sexy just for the sake of “someone likes”, this motivation will not last long, as long as the love fades and the relationship changes from a passionate love period to a stable period, After all, you can no longer hide the fact that this is not the real me at all.
Don’t always take the road that others have traveled. If you want to go, you can go your own way, and that kind of charm will be revealed from the bottom of your heart. ”
Conclusion
People with a low sense of self-worth always want to be someone else, thinking that being someone else will make them attractive.
But in fact, everyone is born with their own charm. The key is whether you know yourself enough and believe in yourself enough.
From believing that oneself is beautiful, and then “magnifying” the charm through body language, clothing, and interaction, the attractiveness that this exudes is definitely far beyond the “communication threshold” of ordinary people.
Maybe you can’t attract 100% of all the people in the world, but at least 60~80% of the people will respond to your goodwill, be yourself, you exude “sexy as defined by you”, this is what Mr.P thinks is correct path of.
