Recently answered a series of questions on how to be an interesting person, how to develop a sense of humor, how to develop descriptive power, etc. Taking advantage of this time to answer readers’ questions, I also talk about descriptive power with you. How to use the method. But before you start reading, please remember a concept. There is no such thing as interesting or uninteresting people in the world. If you make others feel boring, the problem is usually your way of expression. Let’s chat together~
Steven: “You have seen the descriptive power mentioned in your latest article. I think it is indeed a very important part. Sometimes even if I can think of related topics (my current stage), how to say it and how to say it is fascinating. , but it bothers me very much. From my own experience, I often say that movies and dramas will be reduced to good-looking, where does it make me want to cry, etc. The answer is short and can’t directly touch people’s hearts. How can I cultivate descriptive power? Gaon: Learning to communicate from the use of descriptive power)
Mr.P: From my first job in the society, I chose to do business sales. Since then, I have been wrestling with customers in this field, sometimes fighting emotionally, sometimes fighting professionally. And when I was a rookie, one of the things I was most afraid of was that I didn’t know what to talk to customers about.
I’m not saying that I can’t recite product knowledge, I can’t tell the advantages of a product, or I can’t compare the strengths and weaknesses of my competitors with ours, I’m very good at all of them, but these topics are not source of Incessantly, it always runs out, and I’m always very afraid of running out of time.
At first, I simply thought that my interests were not broad enough, and I didn’t know enough things. If I could meet someone with the same interests and hobbies as me, this shouldn’t happen, right?
However, once when my senior and I visited a client, the client suddenly lost a question that I didn’t expect, and my senior’s answer completely woke me up.
The client asked: “You two look in good shape. Are you training hard?”
Originally, I was about to pick up the conversation, but my senior said first: “Yes, we go there about three times a week, it’s just around here, you guys are really busy here, you can eat everything you want after working out. ”
The client continued: “My wife has been telling me to go to the gym a while ago, but I really don’t know what to do when I go to the gym.”
I was also exercising at the time, and the answer I thought to myself was: “The gym, it’s just a group of boys grabbing equipment, fighting weights, and punching sets. Isn’t that what it is?”
But after thinking about it, because the senior was present, I thought he would have a better answer, so I didn’t say anything, but at this time, the senior said in a way that I didn’t expect at all:
“Actually, I used to think that weight training was super boring, and I also thought that only people with a lot of time or people who want to become a macho would come to fitness, but last year I watched the behind-the-scenes footage of the X-Men, and a recent one The interview with the news report completely changed my mind about fitness.”
The client did not speak. His head was originally facing straight up, but now he tilted slightly to the front right, which seemed to arouse his interest.
Senior continued: “Do you remember the Wolverine Wolf? The one with muscles all over his body. In fact, he wasn’t like that at first. It was only after training. In addition, a recent report also said that ordinary people and successful people The difference seems to be whether there is exercise habit or not.”
Later, we talked about the topic of fitness and sports for almost 40 minutes before we got back to the topic. During this visit, we brought almost nothing to the product, but it is very strange that this business was unexpectedly completed successfully ( Extended reading: A glimpse of the master’s doorway from small talk)
Describe the use of sexual intercourse
After that negotiation experience, I found that the difference between myself and my predecessors comes from that he is very good at describing, even if the ordinary topic is in his hands, it will be given new life, and I am a period king, No matter how interesting topics are thrown at me, they will be reduced to embarrassing silence with each other.
Fortunately, there was not only one such expert by my side at that time. During that time, I had many opportunities to ask them for advice, maybe sometimes I needed to ask for a smoke or spend a meal and a few cups of Starbucks, or play mahjong with them. When there is a shortage of cards, I have to follow the pass, but to me at that time, their abilities were priceless treasures. This kind of transaction was simply too good.
Since then, after several years of actual combat polishing, the ability to describe this kind of description has gradually become my own. I began to chat happily with customers with different interests at work. Even I unexpectedly discovered that this ability not only It only exists in sales, but is completely internalized into my life, especially when chatting with the opposite sex, this ingenious ability is extraordinarily practical, and it also makes it easy for me to chat with girls and become friends later.
In the past few years, my interests have not actually changed. When I was in a bad relationship with the opposite sex, my life was to play video games, read comics, exercise, and sing.
No, the real reason is actually only one: my expression and language skills have improved greatly, so I make others think I am an interesting person, and I really realize this thing completely, it is a time when I I only discovered it through feedback from friends while chatting with a girl.
The story goes like this, I was chatting with a friend of a friend once and she asked me:
“What was your impression of me when you only saw my picture before you saw me?”
If it was me before, I would definitely answer:
“It’s cute, pretty, and charismatic.”
Such an answer cannot be said to be wrong, but to put it bluntly, it has no sense of picture, cannot extend the topic, and cannot impress her. There are so many people in this world. If I really answer this way, I am afraid that this time we will meet When it’s over, she’ll completely forget about me.
Then how did I answer it?
I said, “You remind me of a song where you are exactly what you are portrayed in that song.”
She said, “Which song?”
(At this point she became interested)
I continued, “You know Usher? He has a song called DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love.”
She said, “Yeah, I know.”
I said, “You’re very much like the girl described in this song…. The kind of object that the average boy can’t help but look back at when he walks past the boy in the bar.”
She said, “Haha, do you guys all stare at girls like this?”
I said, “It depends on whether that person is worth letting me “look” carefully.”
After this topic, we started to chat very enthusiastically, and even several times she kept asking me questions and finding topics to get to know me.
Having said so much, what I want to express is very simple. Whether a person can state a thing in a vivid and fun way is the real key to being interesting. This ability will greatly determine whether a person is interesting or not.
Let’s make another analogy:
When I talked to her about the concept of love, she asked me, “Do you think you are a person who is willing to give for love?”
If it were the old me, I might have said, “Of course, I’d do anything for the people I love.”
But here’s what I said at the time: “Honestly, I don’t know if I’m someone who can give everything for love, but have you seen the Titanic? If one day I met such a girl, I would Won’t be as stupid as Jack, I’ll find a board big enough for both of you to float together, because leaving the one you love to die alone, I think it hurts too much, love one person and work hard for the other person It is also a kind of sacrifice to live, isn’t it?”
Wouldn’t this be much more interesting than a straight-forward answer?
Afterwards, I chatted with her for nearly an hour, and she didn’t let me go until all of our friends left.
The above two questions, and similar questions that others may ask you, are actually opportunities for you to play well. It would be a pity if you only answered them as short-answer questions, but if you can use your descriptive skills flexibly, Not only can you make the other party look forward to your answer, but also extend more topics, and subtly place the information you want to let the other party know.
Many people will complain that when chatting, the other party will not give the ball to themselves, but in fact, strikes can be created, for a good communicator, because his strike zone is very large , so what others throw is good for him, and it depends on whether he likes the pitcher or not, whether he wants to swing or not.
Therefore, people who have mastered the ability to describe can make others think that you are an interesting person without changing their interests.
In addition, some people may say, but I haven’t seen the Titanic, and I don’t know who Arthur is, and the other party may not know, so what should I do?
In fact, it doesn’t matter at all, even if you don’t know this song by Arthur Kid, you can either mention a movie or a situation, and you can insert it into the answer.
In addition, if you are someone who can’t “react immediately” about the topic you want to talk about, in fact, what you lack is the free chat method. I have brought a lot of content in “How to Share Your Life with Your Loved One”, Speaking skills must be practiced to become familiar with how to use them.
1. Interesting or not interesting is not the interest itself, but the way you express it, and whether it can make people have a new point of view, or have a fresh feeling about old things.2. Try to extend the topic while answering, but also make sure that the other person can understand and that you want the other person to know the message.
3. The above applications are actually the result of the collision after the flexible use of wind, forest, fire and mountain skills in the communication course
