Mr.P: “It’s hard to get a chance to speak, but your mind is blank and you don’t know how to chat with people. Do you have a similar experience? The questions I received this time are troublesome for many people who are not good at speaking. , but please rest assured, this is a necessary process of learning to communicate. As long as you can master routine topics, the communication method of the wind, and the smooth guidance, you can solve the dilemma of having nothing to talk about. It can be solved easily, let’s talk about it together.”
D: “Hello, I have some interpersonal problems. Basically, there is no problem with interacting with people, but I personally don’t take the initiative to find someone to chat with, even if it is a friend I know very well, a friend who will go out now. They are all high school classmates who can count them on one hand. It should be funny to talk among friends, but if you are not familiar with people you don’t know what to say, so even if you meet new friends, it is difficult to become familiar. I haven’t had a girlfriend yet. I have developed a habit of regular fitness before, on the one hand, in order to lose weight, on the other hand, I want to see if I can meet more people, but the result is still the same withdrawn XD. Except for personal trainers, others are also It’s just a nodding acquaintance, although I’m used to saying that I’m alone, but occasionally I still want someone to accompany me, I don’t know if there’s a solution to this situation?”
How to break the ice with a stranger
How to start a conversation with someone you meet for the first time? I think for people who are not good at chatting, just looking at others is a big challenge. The small theater in their head may have staged hundreds of situation dramas.
If we ask people to ask this question, we will probably only get the same answer:
An expert on the market will tell you: “Learn about routine topics and start with topics that regular people often talk about.”
The business executive tells you: “Let’s chat about lighter topics such as gas or current affairs first, and then cut into the customer’s inner needs.”
A pickup artist will tell you, “Have an opening and a routine, then create contrast and mystery to attract.”
On the surface, their answers seem to be different, but in fact they are talking about the same thing, just with a different noun and packaging. Hereinafter, these methods are collectively referred to as “routine topics”.
Don’t over-complicate routine topics, it’s actually pretty straightforward stuff.
Looking back on our older generation of adults, what was the first thing they said when they met?
“Ah, ah, wipe?” * (Taiwanese: Are you full?)
“It’s very windy outside today~”
“I haven’t seen you for a long time, you’ve lost weight~”
(This is the presentation of a routine topic, maybe it is also the opening remarks of your father chasing your mother (laughs))
Greetings like this often appear in our greetings after dinner. Of course, many books that teach you how to communicate will teach you to recite specific words so that you can use them in business sales and shopping malls. Soften the atmosphere first. , Let customers remove their guards, make friends with them, and then do sales.
However, when you actually do it, how does it work?
Is it true that as experts say, once the routine topic is thrown out, you can hit it off with the customer? As soon as the opening remarks routine is shot, can you really make girls tremble? Is there really a topic of invincibility in the world?
From my past experience, it’s about half and half. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, some people do it well, and some people just get stuck in place after speaking, unable to make the chat coherent.
Try to think back again, what did you and your ex-girlfriend (ex-boyfriend), you and your best friend, talk about when you first met?
The more you think about it, the more confused you will be, because you will soon find that these topics jump around, and there is no logic to follow at all. Maybe a topic can break the ice for one person, but not for another person. reaction.
Others will say, “Then you have to be humorous, you have to react immediately and know what the other person wants to hear.”
This sentence is half right and half wrong. “Humor” is a vague and abstract thing, just like Japanese spit humor is not completely funny to Chinese people, and American pun humor does not have a certain level of language. are also difficult to reach.
However, the two things “reaction” and “leading topic” can be strengthened through systematic training.
This is also the topic of today’s article, let’s explore more practical steps and methods, only knowing “how to” can really help you.
Before I entered the industry, I actually didn’t know what Chanel and Hermès were, and when the supervisor was talking about famous watches such as Blackwater Ghost, Xiaopei, AP, etc., I was also a duck to listen to thunder, but in order to be able to make Good performance, I am still obedient and follow my instructions. I start K-books, consult professionals, and dabble in the knowledge of high-quality products.
After a period of time, my knowledge has become richer and my eyesight has become better and better. Before a guest ten meters away approaches, I can vaguely call out exactly what he is wearing from the outline of his hand. Watches, what bags to take, and even the year and style of the car can be roughly guessed. I was so proud of the hard work I was doing, and I started to fantasize that if I could chat about these luxuries with someone with great taste, my performance would be so much better.
Unfortunately, fantasies are just fantasies after all. My performance has always been ups and downs, and it hasn’t gotten better at all. I don’t know what the problem is, and I reflect on it every day. Is it because I have too few smiles? Is my topic too boring?
During this period, I also suspected that the direction given by the supervisor was wrong. Maybe to have a good relationship with the customer, I don’t need to know that much at all? But every time I see that he can really joke with customers from all over the world, the doubts are dispelled again.
A glimpse into the doorway of a master
I’m also very curious, how Eddy will pull back to the main topic and cut into the main axis, and he made a wonderful transformation at that time, which I still can’t forget. With the topic of children, he threw the topic back to the boys:
“Brother Xie, I would like to ask you, a person with taste like you, if you want to pass on something to your children in the future, what would you choose?”
You should have guessed without me saying more. Eddy successfully cut into the topic of cars, houses and watches through this topic, and then smoothly extended to other luxury goods, and then brought it to our products. The whole process was smooth and seamless.
An hour and a half later, he successfully got the customer to sign the order and left with a satisfied smile. I took advantage of no one around and ran over to ask him for advice: “Eddy, your topic changed just now. It would be nice to be able to talk about these boutique topics like you are, how long did it take you to do it?”
“Haha, you are thinking too much. The content of the topic is not the point. Even if I don’t talk about cars or watches, I can still make a deal.” After he finished speaking, he looked at me half-smile.
“How is it possible, I don’t believe it, that’s it, if you can close a group of clients in front of me, and don’t talk about these topics at all, I’ll invite you to dinner, how about it? If you can’t, it’s your turn to invite me to dinner !”
“Hehe, you said it yourself, I’m not asking for a cheap treat, at least I want Wang Pin to take off, do you dare to bet?”
“Okay, of course!”
Topics without topics
An hour later, the second group of customers came in. This time, it was an old gentleman of about 70 years old. He was dressed casually. The vicissitudes on his face showed that he was weathered, but his hair was combed without leakage. Refreshed.
This time, Eddy put away his smile and put on a professional look to greet him and introduced him in detail. The topic started from the metal structure of the product, and I laughed to myself. I have seen him using it a few times before. The car is used as an example of the rigidity of our products. This time there is no “car” available. I want to see how he makes a move.
“Brother, your arms are very strong and look very strong. Do you usually engage in any special exercise?”
“Oh, I usually go fishing in the sea when I’m on vacation. It’s a personal hobby. I’ve been fishing frogs since I was eight years old…”
Found an entry point, Eddy successfully brought the topic to the old gentleman’s interest – fishing, and at this time he asked again: “Doubt, then I want to ask, if people like us are not so good in technology, how to choose a fishing rod what?”
Perhaps it was rare for someone to ask for advice. The old man began to talk endlessly about the types of fishing rods, the difference between river fishing and sea fishing, the impact of materials on the feel, the biggest fish he has ever caught, which country has the best fishing rod quality, and so on.
It was too late to speak, I saw Eddy wink at me secretly, and then said: “So that’s the case, then you must see this XXX bro, its craftsmanship is similar to your favorite fishing rod. Wonderful!”
“That’s okay!?” Although I was slow at the time, I probably guessed how Eddy would guide customers. He successfully linked the characteristics of professional fishing rods with the benefits of our products, deeply Engrave this impression on the old gentleman’s heart.
Later, the old man also made a deal easily. The contact process this time took about three hours. Before leaving, the old man did not forget to tell Eddy that he could go fishing with him next time if he was interested, and he could be the host to entertain him. That night, of course, Eddy didn’t let me go easily. I used a dry-aged steak to fill his stomach. However, the amazing thing was that during the meal, I didn’t feel like I was being pitted at all. The demonstration explained that he broke the narrow thinking of “routine topics” for me, and guided me on the road of communication.
The difference between a mortal and a master
Hey, here, if you’re starting to think that the supervisor is wrong and Eddy is right, that means you don’t fully understand the purpose of routine topics.
Take martial arts as an analogy. Routine topics are like fixed moves, routines, and boxing techniques. Each step has its own SOP, which is very beautiful to play during practice. It is also very suitable for masters to teach them during one-to-many teaching. Students, but it does not mean that you will be able to exert the true power of martial arts when you are on the field, because actual combat is changing rapidly, your opponent will not stand obediently and fight for you, and the topic will not advance according to the process you think.
The reason why experts, supervisors, and experts want to teach everyone to learn routines is also their necessity. Although the master leads the door and the practice is personal, not all of Ye Wen’s apprentices can fight like Bruce Lee. Most of them It just stays at the level of practicing routines, sometimes winning and sometimes losing, probably just a little bit stronger than the average person.
What is the difference between a master and an ordinary martial artist?
Let me explain the mystery by citing a passage I like very much in “The Swordsman”:
The old man shook his head and sighed: “Linghuchong, you brat, you’re really not good at all! I’ll teach you. You first use a move ‘Baihong penetrating the sun’, then use ‘You Feng Laiyi’, and then use a move ‘Jin Yanheng’ Sora’, then use the ‘cutting sword’…’ He said thirty moves in one breath.
The thirty moves Linghu Chong had learned before, but the position of the sword and the footsteps were not connected in any way. The old man said, “Why are you hesitating? Well, the thirty moves are done in one go. With your current cultivation level, it is indeed a bit difficult. You should try it out first.”
His voice was low, and his expression was desolate, which seemed to contain infinite sadness, but there was a majesty in his tone. Linghu Chong thought to himself, “Just follow the words and give it a try, but it’s fine.” When the sword’s tip was pointed to the sky with one move, “Baihong piercing the sun”, the second move, “You Feng Lai Yi” couldn’t be used, and he couldn’t help but stay for a while.
The old man said: “Alas, stupid, stupid! No wonder you are a disciple of Yue Buqun, you are not rigid and do not know how to adapt. The way of swordsmanship is about flowing clouds and flowing water, and you can do whatever you want. You finish that trick” The white rainbow pierces the sun’, the tip of the sword is pointing upwards, wouldn’t it be able to drag it down? Although there is no such posture in the sword move, wouldn’t you be ingenious and cooperate with it?”
This remark immediately reminded Linghu Chong that when he slashed his sword, he naturally used the “You Feng Lai Yi”, and before the sword move became old, he had already turned “Golden Wild Goose in the Sky”. The long sword slid across the top of his head, hooked and picked up, gently and skillfully changing into a “hand-cutting style”. At the moment, according to what the old man said, the commander went down one by one, making the “bells and drums sound” to retract the sword. It was exactly thirty moves. Suddenly, I only felt indescribable joy.
Yes, you should be able to see the key point I want to express. The key lies in the coherence and guidance between moves and moves, as well as the “motivation” in martial arts that users do not understand.
This is the subject that the general martial artist must learn to be promoted to the master forest. At the same time, I should say that I am really very lucky. I was able to work with a group of masters such as Eddy at a very young age, and learned from them over the years. Bit by bit, the whole set of sales methods are integrated into their own style, and this method can also be passed on to other businesses to learn.
This is why an ordinary topic is ordinary knowledge in the hands of ordinary people, but in the hands of communication masters, you can get closer to the other party while chatting and laughing. That key point is called “guidance”.
