People who often care about other people’s opinions, how can they be brave to be themselves?

“Your side dishes are too salty, the taste should be lighter.”

“There are too few dishes, and the nearby XX stores all have soup attached, and none of you have it.”

There are also some of his friends who are “for his own good” and advise him:

“The amount of thick soup should be more, so the students here will come to consume it.”

“The decoration in the store is too complicated and gives people a sense of oppression, so it should be simplified.”

With so many mixed opinions, he often worries about whether the menu needs to be revised, whether the taste needs to be adjusted, or even whether the store needs to be redecorated.

During a small talk, he asked me, “Do you think I should take the opinions of the guests? I know that some customers give it indiscriminately, but some customers really care about me, and what they say does not seem unreasonable.”

Me: “You can take everyone’s opinion, but once you do, the store loses its value.”

He: “I know I need to filter out unconstructive opinions, but like a few days ago, it was a professor at a nearby university who suggested that I adjust my taste. To be honest, I would really care about his opinion.”

Me: “You should pay attention to the opinions of each customer, it is of reference value, but I want to ask you a question, if one day you come on stage to sing a competition, and the judges below are Michelin star chefs, they say you Singing is ugly, will you accept it?”

He: “Of course not, but I’d be happy if they came to teach me how to open a restaurant.”

Me: “Then if a chef who is good at making pasta comes to share with you how to run an octopus ball vendor in a night market, would you listen to his opinion?”

He: “Maybe half and half. His cooking skills must be great, but the ecology and taste of night markets may not be what he is good at.”

Me: “Okay, then if the national beef noodle champion chef wants to teach you how to open a shop, and he wants to share his business secrets with the owner of the fast-food restaurant on the street next to you, who will make you want to learn more?”

He: “Needless to say, it must be the boss. He has a similar store type to mine. He has also operated several branches in Taichung for nearly ten years. He rarely has the opportunity to learn from the industry’s predecessors.”

Me: “That’s right. Actually, whose opinion should be adopted and whose opinion should be put aside, you already know very well, don’t you?”

Prerequisites for measuring opinions

Should we care about other people’s opinions (views), in Mr.P’s opinion, it is actually a false proposition, because it largely depends on “what kind of person you want to be”.

Taking the example of the above friend as an example, he wants to open a low-cost simple restaurant, but if the customer suggests to him the method of “high-end no-menu restaurant”, you say that after he adopts it, the operation of the restaurant will not be a problem. ?

Or, he listened to a customer’s suggestion and adopted the pricing strategy of “the big bowl of Buddha’s heart breaking the price”. He might be able to rush to a very high turnover in a short time, but in the end he was exhausted and let the whole The price collapse and the loss of old customers are not the results he wants at all!

To put it bluntly, if you are Benz, why should you follow the advice given by Gwangyang Locomotive?

For myself, when I hear other people’s opinions, I first ask myself:

【1. Is this person important? 】

Do I need to take his opinion seriously?

If it is just the opinions of strangers and irrelevant people, most of them have no reference value. Taking these words to heart will only add trouble to yourself.

[2. Is his opinion correct? 】

If he is someone very important to me, such as an elder, a friend, a partner, I will ask again, “How correct is his opinion?” Does he have professional experience in this field?

There is a kind of good, called “I’m for your own good”. When the people who give opinions do not understand the whole picture and do not have professional experience in the field, their well-meaning opinions will lead you to go astray, so it is necessary to filter these opinions in a timely manner. of.

[Three, if his opinion is correct, do I have to adopt it? 】

Suppose you are a motivated and promising young man. You want to use your off-get off work time to improve yourself, so you start to seek opinions from everyone. Some people suggest that you learn English, some people say you can play music, and some people say you should learn dancing. most correct?

Both are correct and neither is correct!

Why would it be correct?

Because when you do what they say and you get good grades, it’s the right decision.

But if you do what you say and don’t get happier and don’t get the results you want, then the decision will be very wrong.

Don’t let others rule your life

So everything goes back to the fundamental question:

“What is your goal?”

“What kind of person do you want to be?”

“What kind of friends do you want to make?”

“What kind of life do you want to have?”

“What kind of shop do you want to open?”

“Which customer groups do you want to manage?”

“What kind of brand are you going to build?”

“How are you going to spend your day?”

Once these issues are clarified, you will not worry about “other people’s opinions” and “other people’s opinions”, and you will not hesitate to adopt other people’s opinions.

Let me tell you about my latest story.

One time I was shopping at an outlet abroad with my family, and an elder saw a piece of clothing that he thought was very suitable for me, and began to attack:

1. This one is not available in Taiwan. You are special when you wear this.

2. If you buy the same material in Taiwan, it will cost you more than 4,000. This one is only more than 2,000. You don’t buy it.

3. You can wear it after you buy it, so you won’t wear the same thing every day

4. Really, just buy one more

If it was me before, I would have been easily shaken before I knew the “lifestyle I insist on”. I knew she didn’t want to convince me, she really thought I should buy it, and that dress It’s really good, this price really won’t be available in Taiwan.

But I replied lightly to her: “I really can’t wear it, I don’t need it.”

Because this is what I think in my heart:

.I know clothes are special, but I don’t pursue special, ordinary suits me well
.I know it costs more than 4,000 to buy in Taiwan, but if I don’t buy it, there will be no price difference. .I know that I can change clothes.
But I don’t need that many clothes in my life.

After a few back and forth, she knew I had made up my mind, so she turned her attention to the rest of the group.

Although it’s just a small thing, it’s actually a microcosm of a person’s life. Some people don’t deliberately want to influence you for some benefit. They really don’t. They just live the way they want and share their opinions. , but the scary part is that if you are not aware of it, you will be subtly assimilated.

After I was really assimilated, I would also start to assimilate more people, and the stratosphere was formed like this. If I wanted my life to develop like this, of course it would be great, but what if it wasn’t?

It might take me a while to realize, oh my god! Why should I waste so much money on something I don’t care about?

Know what you want

Opinions are born from the fact that “you know what you want”.

If you have your own opinion first, you can naturally “care” and at the same time “don’t care” about other people’s opinions.

You don’t care because you know that some opinions are for reference only, and you have to filter out the noise that will distract you from your goals;

You care because you know which advice is good for you, so you humbly ask for advice and ask for advice.

After accomplishing the above two points, your self-confidence will no longer have only a vague outline, a clear path will naturally emerge in front of you, and the rest is only practically realized.