Let go of the idea of being a high value man! True High Values are nothing like what you think!

Student Xiao Zhi asked: “What should I do to become a high-value person? Then, does the value have to be displayed in a specific way? If so, how should the display measure be adjusted?”

The first time I heard the word “high value” was almost ten years ago. In the book Pickup Artist, the protagonist’s friend Mystery mentioned Demonstrate high value (DHV). That is to say, if you want to gain recognition and attention, you can use photos, words, and designed behaviors to generate others. You seem to be very powerful, you seem to be popular, and you seem to have a very good social network. By the status and so on and so on.

And once you do this and succeed, those who see your value will be attracted, even let go of their dismissive attitude, and turn to curious about what else you have for them to know, and then you can throw it away. Come up with more sections that you have designed, and see if you want to continue to indulge his appetite, or take advantage of the trend to deepen his good impression of you.

From the perspective of Mr.P’s many years in sales, this is indeed a very effective, fast, and easy to learn and easy way to learn, but because of this, I recommend that you don’t get too addicted to using it.

Okay, you must be curious, if so many people admire “becoming a person of high value”, and so many seniors in the past have successfully entered into relationships because of their high value, what is the problem with it?

There are two reasons, the first is that the thinking itself is contradictory, and the second is that it is very easy to arouse the vigilance of others (this article mainly discusses the mentality, so I will focus on the first point first, and the second point in chat technology related articles More details).

Real high value people who don’t show themselves in a big way

First of all, from the perspective of mentality, I think that a truly high-value person will not rush to show himself at all, because he cares more about whether you are approaching him purposefully than attracting you.

To take the simplest example, have you ever seen a group of people who are always showing off their wealth in the community, taking selfies with banknotes, making high-profile announcements about where they go abroad to play, what famous cars they have changed, etc. High value is fake and false. The purpose behind him is to attract you to take the initiative to privately message him.

A while ago, I saw a friend of a friend who often posted pictures of himself and political and business celebrities in the community. All the posts also created an atmosphere of being a member of the upper class. Sure enough, after a while, he started to say that he has An investment plan to recruit shareholders, and after the money was obtained, the person disappeared.

Thanks to the reports of the news media, now we all know that most of these people are not in the serious industry, but sometimes there are young friends who are not in the world who go astray and lose their fortune by stupid investment.

(The purpose of this article is to discuss the matter of “showing high value”, and everyone should remember to beware of these improper behaviors.)

Some people know that it is useless to show high value too obviously, so they go to a more extreme way – to show high value implicitly (ie low-key display of wealth).

He knew that taking pictures with famous cars would make you wary, so he switched to taking pictures of the interior instead of the logo. He knew that taking pictures in high-end restaurants was too deliberate, so he only took a small corner of the menu. He knew that his punch card was too showy, so he deliberately Instead of punching in, have a friend tag him.

However, all the things he does are actually the same as those who show their value explicitly, only the methods are more roundabout, but their inner state is still lacking, and they still hope to get attention.

Example: Packaging your own dilemma with high value

Let’s take another example. I once had a student who had received a lot of good person cards because he wanted to have a girlfriend very much, and he had been a tool man in the past. In order to get rid of the predicament of single mother and child, he listened to Friend’s Advice – Package your community as a high-value man with taste, understanding of life, and a love of sports.

To this end, he removed all the photos of his past life, and then put a series of carefully arranged content, including his handsome appearance in a suit walking on the street, and his focused expression of earnestly brewing coffee. Knowing him, you will feel that he is like a model or a net handsome who came out of a magazine.

However, after doing so, he encountered a bigger problem – he is not such a person at all in private.

I don’t mean that he doesn’t usually wear suits or make coffee, I mean that the way he feels in the chat is very different from the atmosphere created by the photos. different people.

Therefore, when he found me, he said that the predicament he encountered was that he could indeed attract the attention of some girls through deliberately shaped characters. After chatting for days, he stopped contacting each other, or he made an appointment once and then nothing happened.

At first, he always thought that his chatting skills were not good enough, or that his packaging was not good enough. After listening to him describe his experience, I found that his biggest problem was that he did not believe that “being yourself can be attractive”.

Originally, his temperament was like a big boy next door. If he properly used his innate qualities, he could give people the feeling of being cheerful and sunny and easy to get along with, but he always felt that he was inferior to others, and even added in his own mind that girls only like to wear clothes. A boy in a suit with an oily head that looks bad and ruffian.

Such a misconception made him abandon his original personality, and instead imitated the temperament of others, and even wanted to copy other people’s lives.

But he is not someone else after all, so no matter what he does, the restoration degree of imitation is always limited. For example, he can imitate his appearance, but his temperament, the way of answering, the details of life, and his usual interests cannot be copied.

Therefore, I reminded him at that time: “If you want to improve the predicament of not being favored by girls, the first step you have to do is to remove the personality that does not fit you, and go back to understand what is the real you. ”

In the “Self-Confidence Course”, I asked him to use the techniques I taught to first find out the lack, and then go deep into the subconscious to discover his true self. After three months, he became himself and let go of those What he once thought was “the behavior of a high-value character” turned out to be better for the opposite sex. After another three months, he got off the single smoothly and got his first girlfriend in his life.

After he got rid of the single, he gave me this feedback, he said: “In fact, the high or low value is not the point at all. How others view my value is their freedom, but for me, I can live out myself. The value of life, if you live happily, the people around you will also be infected with this happiness, so that’s enough.”

The mentality of a truly high value person

Now I think you have a general idea of ​​what the inner state of someone who deliberately displays high value is all about.

Now let’s talk about the “really high value people” I know!

As you know, Mr.P used to be a salesperson of luxury goods. Among the clients I have served, many of them are rich people with a net worth of hundreds of millions. Some of these people are self-made bosses, some are business owners. Generations, some are CEOs of multinational corporations.

In the process of getting along with these people, I found that they all have a common characteristic – deliberately hiding themselves so as not to cause unnecessary trouble, and this characteristic is stronger in people who are richer, more powerful, and well-connected.

For example, he will not easily tell you which powerful person he knows, which dignitary, because he knows that as soon as the relationship is exposed, someone will come to ask him about Qiao affairs, ask for introduction, and ask for referrals, and he will not help at that time. , No help is no, a dilemma.

He won’t let you know where he lives, what car he drives, and where he usually goes, because he knows that the fastest way to see through a person’s character is to make himself appear low-key and ordinary, and then see how others treat him. he.

The society is like this, so is the relationship between the sexes. People who are stable in their hearts and have self-confidence in themselves will never interact with people with the mentality of “I want to be a high-value man (woman)”.

The reason why a person becomes a high-value person comes from his character and mature social relationships, he can be trusted, he can rely on, he makes everyone who gets along with him feel a harmonious atmosphere, whether male or female, they will feel friendly. It’s worth meeting him as a friend.

And such a person will never have the idea of ​​”I want to become a high-value person” in his heart, because the idea itself is lacking, and he just focuses on himself. The truly high-value person will always Thinking from the perspective of the other party, rather than caring about themselves, they will choose to extend their energy to the people around them to see what their needs and where they need his help.

I know someone will ask, “Isn’t this just trying to please others? But how can high-value people please others?”

No, there is a difference between pleasing and sharing.

To please means that because you are afraid of being looked down upon, hated, excluded, and not recognized, what you do must not really care about the other person, what you care about is actually “the self who may be hated”, From start to finish, your focus is still on yourself.

But the good thing means that you want to get along with each other in a harmonious atmosphere, you not only take care of the other person’s feelings, but also take care of your own feelings, so you choose to be good to others in a way that you are not aggrieved when they are happy , Such an approach cannot be done without rich social experience and a broad mind, and this will also be the path chosen by high-value people.

1. 1. Showing high value is a quick way to gain recognition and attention, and is often seen by people with a strong purpose
   2. I don’t recommend that you use it too much, one is the contradiction in thinking, and the other is that it will cause others to be vigilant
   3. Really high-value people will avoid showing, most of them are very low-key, and low-key can save them unnecessary trouble
   4. Let go of the idea of ​​being a high-value man (woman), so you can become a high-value person
   5. The core of high value is morality and mature and intelligent social interaction
   6. Caring about others doesn’t mean you have to please them, you can always find ways to make each other happy
   7. Those who often say that I don’t care, are actually the ones who care the most, so use this sentence to hypnotize yourself all the time
   8. High-value people do not assume that the other person is problematic just because they are rejected or treated indifferently
   9. Pseudo-high-value people are hostile to the world, and they must be unappreciated by others because of their lack of vision
   10. A true high-value person is kind to the world and handles situations in a gentle, firm, and mutually happy way
   11. It’s better to live out the high value defined by yourself instead of showing the high value in the eyes of others, and you will naturally exude your own charm