[Influence comes from strong self-confidence] If you can’t even influence yourself, what can you influence others?

The topic of the first half hour of chat, we all revolved around “how to stimulate the enthusiasm and self-confidence of the company’s middle-level cadres”, maybe the company is too large, so it is not easy to feel personal value, a few people have encountered job burnout and The problem of fading enthusiasm, and Vincent knows that awakening self-confidence is my specialty, and he hopes to help them adjust their thinking by planning an in-house training.

After the course was confirmed, Vincent asked me again, am I good at teaching impact courses? The term is very popular recently, and if it is effective, he also wants his colleagues in the company to learn more.

I’ve known Vincent for a long time, so I asked him outright:”What do you think is influence? Or, what do you hope your colleagues can do after gaining influence?”

Vincent said: “The problem we are encountering now is that these middle-level cadres are often incapable of leading the team. Each of them is very conscientious and responsible, but they may not necessarily stimulate the centripetal force of grassroots employees, or Improve everyone’s cooperation and work efficiency, so if you can teach them how to make an impact, then you can spread a positive work atmosphere to grassroots colleagues and new employees.”

I went on to say, “Then, do you plan to take the influence course first, or the confidence first?”

Hearing my question, Vincent said, “Well? Will it make any difference if I take these two courses first?”I said, “Well, let’s take what we just talked about. If your business doesn’t believe in your own products or your professionalism, then no matter how good his eloquence is, ask him to sell such things. , it’s quite embarrassing, isn’t it? If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you make your customers believe?”

Vincent said, “Well, I see what you mean, but what does this have to do with influence?”

I said, “The essence of influence comes from the establishment of confidence. In the analogy of playing, confidence is your mentality (the grasp of your own shot), and influence is your skill. You have to have both, and For the cadres of the company, they don’t even believe that they can change their subordinates, and this kind of work atmosphere will be passed on unconsciously, and the team will become like a pool of stagnant water over time. In short, if you want to influence others, You have to influence yourself first, and to know how to influence yourself, self-confidence is very important.”

After I finished explaining, Vincent asked me a few more questions about influence. While I still remembered the content at the time, I made a small note in this article and shared it with you.

Fake influence

Influence is invisible, and everyone is affected by different things. For those who want to increase their influence, we can still turn the invisible into the visible through a few questions, starting with the ones that are easily influenced by ourselves. To start with a clue, ask yourself:

• Who can influence me?
• Why can he influence me?
• What did he say and do to influence me?
• What new ideas did I have because of his influence? What new actions have been taken?

If you answer the questions carefully and organize them for a while, you will find that influence is usually linked to the following characteristics:

• Professionals
• Authorities
• Experienced person
• A person with a certain status
• Public Figures
• A professional looking person

Also because the people above can be influential so quickly, most traditional practices would suggest that if you’re not a professional/experienced yet, pretend you are! This way your influence will be much larger than it actually is.How to do it specifically?

From the field of business sales, if you are a rookie in the business, your supervisor will ask you to put on a neat and steady suit, and bring an all-black leather briefcase. Remember to keep it full Orders, shoes should also be polished, pretending to be a professional, you will be more likely to influence customers.

From the field of sexual attraction, although you are a new lover with no experience in love, the masters will also tell you, remember to pretend that you are very popular and have a good relationship with the opposite sex, preferably Facebook Put up pictures with other girls, pretend you’re a heartthrob, you better be able to fool yourself, and you’ll become very popular.

To be honest, Mr.P has done the above two things before, and he has also successfully obtained a few orders and successfully attracted the attention of others. This feeling is actually quite good. It is a kind of Fluffy and full of pink bubble-like enjoyment.

But since it is a bubble, it will eventually be burst, because the professional and authoritative appearance can be faked, but the temperament and the content of the conversation inside may not be.

There have been several times when I negotiated with a client company, and the client asked me not long after my introduction:

“How long have you been with the company?”

I’m actually struggling right now, should I keep pretending, or should I honestly tell him I’ve only been here for less than three months?

At the beginning, I once said something against my heart. I said that I had been doing it for about a year, and then I quickly changed the topic and confused it, but the eyes of the customers were always suspicious. When a client asked me this, I simply said:

“I’ve only been at the company for four months.”

Then I asked him how he saw it, and chatted with him why I switched to this company. It is very strange that my confession was appreciated by the client, so my junior experience helped me add points!

In other words, pretending to be powerful is not as powerful as confessing.

In addition, the experience in love is the same. In fact, for experienced people, they only need to ask a little about the details of your past relationship, why you broke up, what experience and lessons you have learned, etc. The mask you deliberately put on will soon will be debunked, and based on my own experience I can tell you that honesty is always the best strategy, no one.

Sources of Influence

Speaking of which, I think you may be starting to think about a question: “Why is honesty so powerful?”In fact, the reason is very simple, because when you can firmly believe every word and every word you say, it is full of power in itself, and because what you say is true, the logical structure is absolutely Complete, meticulous, and able to stand up to others to challenge you.

At the same time, this is the main point of this article I want to tell you:

The source of a person’s influence is very simple. First, remove the image hat of professionals and authority. Those things will be gradually obtained as you work longer and with your own efforts, but if you want to increase significantly in the shortest time. Your own influence, you have to pay special attention to these two points:

I. Self-confidence

It’s how much you believe in yourself, hey, don’t confuse it with Ah Q’s spirit here, you can force yourself to believe that you can fly, but you can’t break through the limitations of gravity.

Appropriate self-confidence is not exaggerated arrogance or self-deception. Such self-confidence must be logical. For example, if you are a salesperson, you can allow yourself to have this belief:

○ I believe I can sell the productSuch beliefs are appropriate, many people have done them, as long as you have the right method, you can, but the self-deceiving beliefs are as follows:

× I love every product from the bottom of my heart

The above belief has great limitations. Even the boss of the company will have his own preferences, let alone you who have never participated in product development. When cultivating your self-confidence, Please pay special attention.

For another example, if you are an active relationship seeker, you should never say this:

You should tell yourself:

○ I am an ordinary person. I have shortcomings, but I can accept them calmly. At the same time, I also know how to express my strengths, so that I can get along better and be considerate.

The core of influence is actually a game that originates from the heart.

Second, techniques and methods (leadership, field control, communication)

Using martial arts as an analogy, if self-confidence is internal strength, technical methods are moves, and the two combine to form a complete influence.

And the aspects of influence are also very broad, such as:

• Applications on Marketing Advertising
• Department store promotion design
• Politicians’ campaign tactics
• Behaviour change techniques for parenting children

The above things are actually the application of influence at different levels and fields. In addition, like the Fenglin volcano in my “Communication Skills Course”, it is also a manifestation of influence in speech, a kind of specific Detailed, customized communication designed for objects and specific groups.

As for what Vincent mentioned, how to stimulate the centripetal force of grassroots employees is a triple application of self-confidence + communication + leadership. We must first believe that we can do it, and then become proficient in one-to-one communication. Learn the skills of leading and governing the team, and such influence will be fully diffused from the inside out (in fact, it is what Confucianism calls self-cultivation, family order, and country governance).

Conclusion

1. If you want to improve your influence, please start by believing that you can do it, otherwise you will not even have the courage to take the first step, so what is the impact?

2. If you know that you are not strong, you don’t have to pretend that you are strong, and be honest about your shortcomings. Sometimes proper honesty may bring you unexpected results.

3. The role of influence is from the inside out. If you affect yourself first, you can affect others, and finally affect the group.

All in all, influence and self-confidence complement each other. A person who can’t even influence himself will have very limited effect if he wants to influence others. But if you have self-confidence, when you communicate with people, you will naturally have the confidence to speak. At this time, starting with the technical method of influence, you can exert 5 times or even more than 10 times the original influence.