Got a great question this week, is it necessary to have confidence to attract girls? We need to how to build the self-confidence of the strong. Without such self-confidence, would it be impossible for us to stand in this society? In this article I’ll explain the links to strength and self-confidence a little more clearly, to give those who want to improve themselves a clear direction to move forward.
Tom: “”Only the strong can attract girls and be appreciated by girls?”
I met a girl before, a girl with a personality like a big sister, and a girl who is eight years older than me, but she feels very young in appearance! And my personality is relatively immature. Is it a personality that hopes to be taken care of? I think I have a good interaction with her. In real life, I can chat and have physical contact, but she is relatively cold to me on the line, and often I can’t read it or respond coldly. I recently learned that she has a boyfriend, and I was a little heartbroken when I heard that, but I also chatted with her and asked him what he liked about her boyfriend, and what he admired about him, and she answered me: because her boyfriend is very mature and thoughtful , very smart, and graduated from finance and law (compared to me only university).
I don’t understand, I often crawl on the board and see that as long as you have self-confidence in yourself, you can attract girls, but why do girls still like strong men? Do boys have to be strong first to attract girls? Can a weaker, less mature person like me be unable to attract girls? ”
Mr.P: When I was in elementary school, I liked to play dodgeball very much. For me, Amin who could throw a flame ball every time in my class was the strong one in my eyes.
These powerhouses in various periods of my life, each with their own unique skills, have something in them that I don’t have at all, whether it’s traits, abilities, items, etc., those things seem so far away from me , For me at the time, even if I tried very, very hard, I might not be able to get it.
For a long time, I haven’t thought too much about being strong. If someone says he is a strong man, then he is a strong man. I have never questioned, what is strong? Why do others think he is strong? What is the definition of strong?
In the days of admiring these strong men and being ignorant, I also gradually grew stronger, slowly made some good friends, gradually learned how to get along with the opposite sex, and slowly changed from a rookie to a senior. One day, a question from a newcomer made me start thinking about the strong man again.
In the winter of four or five years ago, a new colleague asked me: “Senior P, I think you are very strong. I calculated that you can close a customer in an average of 120 minutes, which is beyond the average of our company. 60 minutes.”
“Ah? Is there such a thing? I don’t know it myself, how did you figure it out?”
“That’s right, because I’m used to observing how long it takes for each person from the beginning of the contact to the signing stage, and your pace is fast in the company, and the chances of customers backtracking are not high, so I think it’s amazing!”
The newcomer’s remarks, in fact, I have never thought so from his point of view, but also made me start to reflect:
“So… is this called very powerful? Is this called strong? This is the realization that I have experienced a lot of setbacks. As long as everyone has my experience, everyone can achieve it. In fact, this is also true. Not strong, not strong at all.”
Another reason that makes me reflect like this is that I never thought that I would be attached to the word strong, I always feel that I am a person who works harder than others, because I give what I should give, so I got what I deserved. The so-called strong people should be people with extraordinary talent and extraordinary aptitude, right? Furthermore, I am still weak in many aspects in my life. In terms of sports, my coordination and flexibility are very ordinary, so my performance in various sports is very average, and my reaction speed is not fast, so whether it is playing ball Or in real-time strategy games, where I’m usually a support role, and it’s never me who’s charging.
It’s so weird that someone thinks I’m strong, but it’s also so funny.
We think a person is strong, usually just because “he is doing well in an area we know and like”, so we give him a strong rating.
Because of this, I think a strong person may not be strong in the eyes of others. Just like when we are at different ages, we regard people with different characteristics as strong. Our values and pursuits have always been Variety.
He made an assumption in his statement that only the strong can attract girls (if your mind also agrees with this idea, then your intellect will find many facts to support it). There are many interpretations of this sentence, such as:
- What is the strength of the other person’s perception?
- Is a girl better than her in her field of expertise, or is she better than many others in her field of expertise?
Everyone has their own scoring weightI have a good friend who I have known for many years, hereinafter referred to as B. He is not particularly tall, not particularly handsome, and not particularly rich. My impression of him is that he looks clean, good at chatting and understanding, but his girlfriend is not ordinary. She is a beauty who will look back when passers-by see it, and has been approached more than a thousand times in her life.
Once we asked him: “B, so when you dated your girlfriend, did you chase her? There should be a lot of boys dating her at the same time, right?”
“Oh, yes, I was the most ordinary person among all the competitors at that time. There was a boy who drove a BMW Z4 to wait for her to get off work, and another boy who drove a Ferrari chased after her for two years. year.”
“Then she’s unmoved? Those people must be weird people or people with high self-esteem, so she chose you in the end?”
“Haha, that’s the fantasy of regular people about rich people, it’s not like that. Later, she showed me the records of her conversations with those boys. They were very polite and decent. One of them was the boss. The other is the second generation of the company with a career in the family, and they are all pretty good people.”
“If that’s the case, aren’t you just lucky?”
“Haha, maybe it is. In fact, I also asked her later, why did she choose to be with me in the first place? She said that I am not the most outstanding, nor the most financially capable and experienced, but she had already I’ve been with similar people, and compared to them, I’m the most comfortable and free, and she can be herself very happily.”
“I see, so to be with such a goddess, we just need her to be herself, right?”
“Well… I don’t think so, I think if I met her three or four years earlier, she wouldn’t have chosen me, and I wouldn’t have liked her, because she was the one I didn’t like before. She is a kind of girl, and I was more argumentative three or four years ago, so I couldn’t tolerate her like I am now.”
However, I also learned a more important thing from it:
Just because the definition of strong is changing at any time, a person’s fortunes are changing all the time. The so-called fate just happens to meet the right person at the right time, and it just happens to show the right characteristic, and this pairing characteristic happens to be. Appreciated by the other party, they can become “powerful” in the other party’s mind, which in turn leads to closer relationships, mutual attraction, and communication.
To put it in a scientific way, if interpersonal relationships are an exam, the scoring method of the exam is changing at any time, depending on the environment, the chance, the person, and the situation. Those who successfully pass this exam are often not the most powerful, but the first to understand the rules of the game!
What are the rules of the game? Do you know what she values most at this moment, what she is pursuing, and what is she looking forward to?
Cowardly and Powerful
You say: “I don’t understand, I often crawl on the board and see that as long as you have confidence in yourself, you can attract girls, but why do girls still like strong people? Do boys have to become strong first? Can you attract girls? Can a weak and immature weakling like me be unable to attract girls?” Can you attract girls with confidence? Maybe not, maybe.
Can strong men attract girls? Maybe not, maybe.
These two qualities are not a dichotomy, but what I prefer to believe is that you have to have confidence and a heart to become stronger to attract each other.
The other person mentioned here does not only refer to girls, but refers to any person, whether it is emotional, life, social, this is human nature, a person will help you because of sympathy for you, but will not love because of sympathy for you on yours.
“Can cowardice not attract someone?”
If you mean, you are too weak to protect her, maybe yes, everyone wants their partner to stand up and protect her when they are in trouble, maybe there is no evidence to prove it yet, but you have to let The other person knows that you have this potential.
I know that some people will want to ask: “If the current self is really not strong enough, not confident enough, and not mature enough, how can I attract the attention of others?”
In fact, everyone thinks this matter is too complicated, and most people are not so superficial.
Take self-confidence as an example. Many people think that a person must have certain knowledge and strength to become self-confident.
With that said, every moment of you should be better than the last second of you
Are you more confident? Because your knowledge will become more and more rich, your ability will become stronger and stronger, and you will be more confident in three years than you are today, right?
But… look at the people around you, there are still a lot of people who have been slumped after a setback, but they may have been high-spirited, so it is clear that self-confidence does not grow in a “cumulative” way .
So confidence is not built on these things, but from your attitude towards life.
If you are not materially strong right now, you can still make yourself stronger spiritually first. And this power will spread to the people around you, making them strong too. This is the so-called maturity and power.
I’m also going to tell you secretly here that this kind of power has a very, very, very heavy weight in the scoring methods that I know of.
Some call this power daring, some call it masculinity, some call it big-hearted, some call it confidence, but no matter how those terms change, they all mean the same thing.
This kind of power can be tolerant, broad, easy-going, can contain her willfulness and carelessness, can carry her grievances and loneliness, and can make her willing to entrust her life to you. This is the true meaning of power:
“Be a reliable person.”
